Montag, 22. Februar 2010

How to kajak to Phuket - Part I

We had some beer on my balcony. My best friend was musing about going to arrange a little holyday trip for his 73year old mother... as a birthday gift. It should be to somewhere quite, nice and sunny. I suppose since she is not the wild one anymore ... so we decided for Phuket! I have no idea where that is, but it sounds like to be somewhere at Kamtschatka!

Further, it should not bust his already small budget, so it had to be cheap. Since flying is always bad for his easy to upset  stomach ... and I'm afraid anyway that the little fairies that have to carry the plane are not paid enough and will drop either my fat selfe or the plane... and we both need some workout anyway...

So, we decided that the best way to travel to Phuket would be by  KA J AK .

Please keep in mind... that term 'some' togerther with the term 'beer' is always supposed to be a term of relativity!


Ok, we called his mom to tell her that she sould start to dress, since we would show up soon.... or better to come to this adress:


(Why they named that avenue like the father of a singer, will always be beyond me!?)

There, we bought a kajak. That was when I learned what a kajak is... it is not a wheel chair... 
And we set off on our way, to walk to Italy...  some place called 'Adria Beach'. 


Yeah, We had to walk since the police confiscated my selfpainted driving license!  They said the word 'license' was misspelled. I thought it was made up of 'Lie' and 'Sence' and I never estimated to have to show it to someone who isn't as illiterate as me... and my friend never found the adress, to eaven start the license test at all!


A few hours later, some kilometers into the baltic see, he gave in and admitted that he's lost and we might have been heading in the wrong direction...
True men never have to ask for the way... True men have a natural build-in kompass, he told me.
I HAD told him we should better have bought a FUNCTIONING kompass, but he can be such a stubborn and penny-pinching asshole... his mom had long since given up to change him, as she told me. With 44 you won't change a man anymore!



To make a bad story short... Prague was very nice, but to make the sidetrip there just for his old lady, since she wanted to see this fucking 'Carls Bridge' again... my leg started to hurt and the kajak was wearing me down a bit. But I got somewhat compensated later that day with that australian pancake at Wien... and the ice creame when we arrived at the beach...

...To be continued.

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